I realized about 4-5 days after I posted this blog post that it sounded very misleading about how controlling my hubby is. The truth is, he is not controlling at all in most ways, but in some infuriating but usually minor but some major (to me) ways he is WAY too let’s say. Stubborn. Too stubborn for his own good! But overall he’s exactly who I need and I knew it the first time I smelled him.
Yes, I said Smelled him
The story of us is long and complicated but we have been through hell and back together, we have grown up together & we love each other very much so everything makes us stronger. My hubby and I met online…I will admit this now because WHO CARES….on E-Harmony. For years and years I was afraid that there was some weird stigma associated with meeting my hubby on E-Harmony. I guess I should be thanking Neil Clark Warren for creating a matching system that works! Anyway we met on there in October of 2004. I was out at Pechanga Casino in Temecula, CA helping celebrate my BFF’s (at the time, we don’t talk anymore) birthday. I came home, checked my e-mail and saw I had a match. He was not the normal type I would go for. His picture was awkward and unflattering and he looked uncomfortable. Turns out there was a reason for all of that. He WAS uncomfortable. My hubby HATES having his pictures taken and he hates them being posted on the internet even more.
The first time I met hubby in person he had driven 105 miles from The Valley (Woodland Hills, LA County) to where I was living in Murrieta CA (about 65 miles north of San Diego). It was pouring rain. He made the comment that “this is California, this will be the only rain we see this year”. Boy did he ever jinx us, 2004-2005 was the rainiest year thus far THIS CENTURY. According to this source we had over 32″ of rain in Temecula CA that year. Anyone who lived in Southern California and was old enough to have cognizant memories of this remembers this rainy year I’m sure. Do you?
Anyway in March of 2005 I moved to LA to live with hubby, at this time he was my boyfriend obviously. I will just call him hubby for ease of typing and to be less confusing since I am talking about a single person. It was not really by choice that I moved in right then. My sister was pregnant with my nephew, still married to her deadbeat ex, and they were living in the “living room” a.k.a. a small awkward and unoccupied space in the front of the house my mom was renting at the time. Basically I was ousted for my pregnant sister, her hubby and their “need” for an actual bedroom and that caused me to pretty much be forced to move in with hubby or sleep in the living room. Hubby did not agree with my mom taking my bedroom away and I moved in. We lived with roommates until April or May in 2006 when they moved to VA so we had to find a smaller apartment. We moved to Oak Park, CA and got a puppy! He was a purebred Maltese and we named him Yoshi.
Fast forward to October 2006 (only 5 months later yes I know) and hubby gets a job offer from Photobucket. This was the job that plucked us out of CA and landed us in Denver Colorado (where we live currently). Back in 2006 Photobucket used to be the shit, it was booming and it was a great move for us. In Sept. 2007 was our first real taste of “Going Public” and the money that can bring to someone who happens to work at a great start-up. Denver & Boulder are full of start-ups! Don’t get me wrong, we didn’t win the lotto with that or anything. I think over the course of a couple of years we maybe totaled about $100k….but it was a good thing because life happens and boy did it ever happen to us! A.K.A WE HAVE NO MONEY SO DON’T COME ROB ME! We spent all the money we got on paying down the principal for our first home. VERY good planning because “The Great Recession” hit right after we closed on our first house (We closed in July 2007).
In 2008 we got married at our kitchen table with his mom as our witness. The strangest thing is legal in Colorado. You can marry yourselves! We went down to the county clerks office, picked up the license, followed the instructions the clerk gave us to be legally married without anyone to officiate, and off we went. We did the things, turned in the license, paid the fee and we have been 100% legally in the eyes of the law! I mean yes…. I was/still am disappointed I didn’t have a bachelorette party, or any kind of reception to or party at all speak of. But in all actuality I probably know more people now then I have in my entire life, especially if you look at 10 years ago!
In 2009 we had our first baby, a son. He is now 8.5, 4’6″, & is 70lbs. In 2011 we had a full term stillborn son, Paxton. You can read his story here and the update here, after that we went on the see a fertility doctor and after lots of expensive & stressful treatments later we ended up with our “Rainbow Baby” daughter. She is now 5 years old and is really taking after her mom in so many ways, but she seems to be neuro typical which is good! I know it seems like I am skipping important bits of info here but I am trying to just explain the basics of our life together and the rest will be filled in with other blog posts.
In August 2013 hubby got a job at Rackspace in Austin Texas, so we packed up the fam and moved to good old ATX. The 2 years and 3 months we spent in Texas were long, hellish & extremely testing of every single piece of everyone’s mental limits. Texas was where I lost my mind, but I really found a husband and life partner. Prior to January 2015 hubby and I were married, in love and it was just that. Neither of us knew how to really know the other one. What they need, what their thinking, just everything. Texas was where hubby and I really came together and became entwined in this amazing web of mutual and every growing love & respect for each other as our individual selves and as a cohesive unit.
In November 2015 we moved back to Denver. We needed Texas for our karmic journeys but we only needed it until we left, I know if we stayed too long it would ruin everything. Yes, Texas was a very bad place for me on a spiritual level. I was very sick there mentally and physically. I felt a sense of repression and impending doom the whole time we lived there. Hard to explain. If you want a quickie (and old) explanation here is a really old blog post where I tried to explain my spiritual beliefs and my way of thinking. Since moving back to Denver, I know this is where we belong now forever, things have gone from good but getting better, to AMAZING and improving everyday!
Next time I am talking to you and you wonder why I am staying with such a “butthead” remember that butthead exterior is covering up the sweetest, most understanding of everything (except social and emotional needs) man in the whole world. He has loved me since I was (almost) 25 and he was 23. Back then he was bigger and I was about the size I am now. But he still loved me just the same and never commented on the fact that I grew to almost 300 pounds with all the disastrous medical care I was getting. He is an amazing person underneath, just like me! On my surface I am even more questionable with my social skills than hubby!
Anyway. Here we are. It is March 2018. We are still together and while we both annoy the hell out of each other we understand, accept and love each other more than ever. I didn’t ever doubt for a second I would meet my Prince Charming one day and I knew I had found him. All it took was that first wiff of him.